Flame War ON

It has come to my attention that some clown name Mike has joined the crew and has initiated the shit talkin', to which I say BRING IT ON.

But first since I haven't been reviewing many games recently but I have been playing them, here (in no particular order):

The Phoenix Wright Series, a collection of amazingly written storybooks games dealing with a cast of zany characters following about 4-5 cases each game. The strength in these games lie in the accessibility of the DS, where you can play part of a case and come back later never missing a step. Honestly, I have become addicted to playing DS games before I go to sleep because of this series instead of my usual routine of jacking it, watching TV, surfing the intrawebs, or all of the above. The series is hokey sometimes but I love playing detective and if you enjoy Law and Order and anime at the same time, try these games. They are like 10 bucks each at the Gamestop ffs.

Another DS game I recently love is Professor Layton and the Curious Village (I am addicted to saying the full name every time I bring it up). Basically it is like doing those STAT math puzzles as well as some abstract teasers and classic puzzles while playing through another storybook-esque game that has amazingly well done cinematics (think Spirited Away style).

No More Heroes is the exact game you'd expect coming Suda 51. Though not as good as Killer 7, this game has motion controls that actually work for Wii and has a crazy amount of gore. You play Travis Touchdown a wouldbe assassin that has to kill 10 assassins ahead of him to become number 1. You should know by that description that the game shines at the boss battles as each are as unique as Zelda bosses. The combat is neat too using a pseudo-katana kata with low and high stances to hit enemies weaknesses which is not even that important when a slot machine spins each time you kill a mob and you get some new crazy mode. Zero punctuation does an amazing job as you would expect reviewing this game. Pluses for this game are the gore, slick controls, cel-shaded, boss battles. Minuses have to be the bullshit overworld you have to transverse, those lame filler jobs/hits the game makes you do, and the bullshit overworld. Honestly Suda you aren't making GTA, if you cut all that bullshit and just made the game linear I would of been so much happier.



Which brings me to GTA IV. Buy This Game.

Oh you wanted more, well it is just plain awesome. The Havok Engine is incredibly detailed with physics fans creaming themselves over the crazy shit you can do with all the vehicles. I also like the Gears of War adoption of duck and cover style with even some innovations of its own. I've played I think 45 hours now and am only 50% done, to say that is impressive. I'll be honest I didn't like San Andreas or Vice City too much, but this iteration is THE next gen title I have been looking for. With 6 million worldwide sold already, I'm extremely happy for Rockstar's success.


Super Smash Bros Brawl - Awesome fighter, FIX THE ONLINE FOR FUCKS SAKE. Geez, every game is laggy, you have to play 2 minute matches with non-friends, WITH ITEMS ON, bullshit Smash Balls which is god mode in those lag storms, no ranking system. Nintendo please learn have to properly use online kthx. Honestly, if you've played Melee, you've played Brawl. It is less of the slippery controls, more of the "features", and a shitload of characters. All of them pretty balanced surprisingly.




Mario Kart Wii - Nice job with the online, a SERIOUS improvement from the jackass online that SSBB had. With rankings, fast matches, ability to play as your Mii, and roulette style race choices. Nintendo has to be realizing by now that there is a market for the online play. I would gladly pay for an online service like Xbox Live but with a million Wiis sold every month I don't think Nintendo cares too much. I just hope they realize their mistake soon, they can cater to the causal market AND make the hardcore players not migrate to other systems if they just learned from their mistakes. Get a non-friend code system, release headset support for games, and make a HD for download content.


God of War: Chains of Olympus is another amazing game. That and Final Fantasy VII: Crisis Core are the reason to own a PSP. Too bad Barry got pissed at the difficulty and broke his.


The Orange Box, a great value and must rent.




Dragon Quest Swords: The Masked Queen and the Tower of Mirrors for Wii is too long of a name for such a simple little diversion. The game is like No More Heroes in that it has too much random overworld bullshit to maintain to get anywhere in the story. Not all games need an overworld, you can linearity for the sake of not BORING the SHIT out of your players. Also, the game gets crazy hard for no reason on some boss fights (the best part of the game). Really a lot of little annoyances add up fast to why I couldn't finish this game and that's a shame really. As I really liked the Wii controls and the premise.

The localization of the new Fire Emblem games by Nintendo is a great step toward more RPGs on the Wii/DS. If you ever wondered who the hell Roy and Marth are, you'll have to keep wondering as they are still in the Japanese prequels but Ike from the new Smash Bros Brawl is in the Gamecube/Wii games and is a badass. These games play alot like Final Fantasy tactics and have some good stories attached to them. I have really gone back to console gaming like I used to in my childhood. I had a decent relationship with MMOs that ended with WoW last summer. But this is where I belong, and at the most important time when the games market is breaking records with each month, week, year, and AAA title that is released. 2007 was a fucking awesome year for gaming and I expect this year will be just as great. Now if only John (Player 3) can get us a PS3, I can enjoy the next Metal Gear Solid 4 and Little Big Planet when they come out later this year.

So that's it, I don't feel like there is much to say about myself. I think I am the most obsessed with games out of all of us, so there is that. I have a lot to say when it comes to these games, some of which isn't always fair, but I love this medium and am optimistic about the future. Next I will be renting Boom Blox for Wii next so I'll tell you how it is. /endrant

Oh and Mike's gay.