New guy...maybe?

Since I seem to be the only one that actually generates content on here I am thinking of bringing another useless sack of shit on here.

He is a Nintendo fan boy and a mac fag, so we will see how it works out. Depends on whether he can write coherent sentences and bring something we don't have. Still debating this however.


But if Mike ever gets his fat ass around to doing a dead space review and or add content that's not a bunch of 4chan bullshit I might have to stop calling him a sack of shit, or fat.

So expect a review of Dead Space, and a mac fag.

Resistance to fun

So ever since the PS3 came out I haven't liked it. I thought it was too bulky and an over hyped system that delivered mediocre game play. That isn't to say that it doesn't have a lot of stuff packed into it.

It might just be me but I think its a bloated system that isn't all that approachable by most people, namely because of the price tag. Also it doesn't have a very large game base which has since deterred me from buying one.

But we do have one just we haven't played it almost ever. I wanted to change that today so I started to play with it, then I played the PS3.

I decided since Resistance: fall of man just randomly appeared on the coffee table that I ought to play it. I looked at the cover "9.5 out of 10" and "5 of 5" in a big gold star show that this game is serious. So I was hoping for a lot.

I came in looking for a really awesome game because I have been spoiled by Dead space's fucking epic story telling and awesome everything. But what I got was a throw back to crappy cut scene hell. I don't know if that much has changed since this game has come out but peoples attention span must have been about as long as a humming bird. Because I have played the game maybe an hour or two and I have already been subjected to 10 or more cut scenes that are the boring narrated sepia stills. Not like you cant do an FMV or an in game cut scenes for fuck sake.

The controller and controls are the antithesis of intuitive. Thank god you can totally rearrange it to your liking but damn. The fire button would logically be the "new" trigger on the PS3 controller right? WRONG, its the one right above it. Even worse is the change weapon and shoot are right on top of each other so in a heated battle you accidentally switch to your gun that is empty and you end up shitting a few bricks because of it. Another complaint is that the croutch is the left trigger and the secondary fire is the L1. So image that you want to duck and fire that grenade launcher, so sorry my friend. Unless you're that 2% of the population with a vestigial index finger, you're fucked.

Thats not to mention that the SIXAXIS controller is very un-ergonomic. More and more games require the use of the joysticks; and the PS3 controller is still using the old D-pad oriented controller. It is more ergonomic to use the buttons and D-pad rather than the triggers and joysticks. I understand familiarity and how the precieved notion that it may draw in those PS enthusiasts. But why not make it new and exciting to lure new people in and entice the older people, ha NO.

But I still trudge on hoping the game gets better so we will see.

DEAD SPACE

Dead Space, so far is one of my new top favorite games.

Personally I think this game deserves every bit of a perfect score, EA Redwood ( I think thats right) has done an amazing job with this one. Every inch of the game is super polished and everything is just plain amazing!

After looking on the EA site for Dead Space's media its obvious that this game was set up to deliver. Amazing claims from very prominent magazines and news publications were hyping this game up to be a MASSIVE hit. I actually only saw one or two trailers of Dead Space and thought it looked cool, then I just left it there for a few months. But once Daniel reminded me this game was out that we should go to the midnight release, which no one had unfortunately.

Our local Game stop didn't have a midnight release, but we returned the next day with little resistance to get to the counter.

But within the first 5 minutes of actually playing the game I really got scared and jumped a few times. The 42" HDTV and surround sound really didn't help our case to stay somber during the clutch moments. But this game is really scary, like John Carpenter scary, not that M-night Shamalan suspense bullshit.


Yet as always I have already heard gripes about the game mainly about it's story relating to another very good game; Doom. Now Mike brought this to my attention which I really agreed with him about how its almost a "rip-off" of Dooms story. so lets compare shall we?


Doom:
hybrid/zombie things: check
religious undertones: check
futuristic: check
very scary: check
in space: no
on an alien planet: check
Alternate dimensions: check

Dead Space:
hybrid/zombie things: check
religious undertones: check
futuristic: check
very scary: check
in space: check
on an alien planet: check
Alternate dimensions: no


OK so not too much different, yes doom was more a military based FPS where as Dead Space is a third person RPG. But I do agree with Mike on how similar the two are, but as I told him "sex sells." No, you don't get to invade the main chicks pink taco stand in this one, but rather the combination of space/zombies/guns/horror/scary shit/jugs really sells well. And you know just give the people what they want and if its killing bloodthirsty zombies with shotguns then give it to them. Yet with Dead Space shotguns are now plasma guns.

We are still deciding who is going to review this one, so far only Mike has beaten the game through a marathon gaming session lasting exactly 12 hours. I having watched the game played for most of those 12 hours and having commitied about 8 hours of my time to actually playing it. Daniel is doing th deed now, yet on hard mode.

So who knows, maybe me, maybe Daniel, or even Mike.

Star Wars: The Force Unleashed

Star Wars: The Force Unleashed

As a foreword to the readers, I really tried to like this game I was super excited that Lucas Arts came out with a game of their own and I really wanted to like this game. I came into the game thinking it was going to be a force-gasm; as you’ll read it ended up not.


Story:

You play as a young apprentice to Darth Vader, who kills your father and swoops you up so he can get his jollies on you, or train you, we still don’t know what happens there. You are then trained as Darth’s right hand to do all the dirty work, like finding Jedi and killing them.

The story of TFU is a great addition to the Star Wars lineage, and with amazing cut-scenes it does a great job of telling it. Also the Voice acting is amazing with perfectly synced actions and the characters really emote well. If Lucas arts is good at doing one thing, it’s making full digital movies that can/could be passed as real.


Game play:

Having the power of the force is one of many dreams of man, with TFU you get to experience all of it. When you first start the game you get to play as Darth Vader and yes he is as badass as you think he is. Darth Vader doesn’t run he walks with a shitload of hate in every step; you can tell that he’s rearing to tear someone in half. Playing as Vader gives you a glimpse of just how destructive and hateful you can make your game play; with strangling your enemies or crushing them into a suitcase size flesh packs. The hilarity that ensues during this initial mayhem is awesome and will make you laugh, but the evil twisted laugh, not that pussy giggle laugh. (thanks to IGN for the picture)

As the game progresses so do your skills and so does the amount shit stomping you do. I was initially playing as a Sith Warrior, which I recommend you not do until your second play through. The game will get really gay really quick if you decided you are already a badass, and at the beginning it might seem that way but shit hits the fan very quick. So just play as the apprentice which is what you are, and you’ll have more fun playing.

The game controls are pretty solid and really lend themselves well to wielding the force. Combos are not really all that exotic with 75% of them have the same beginning with a couple different ending schemes ( X, X, X, X, Y or B or what have you). I have heard some people gripe about how the targeting system is kinda garbage and sometimes you don’t pick up what you want. That’s true, to and extend; targets are selected with the direction of the character, not the camera, so it’s easy to select something you don’t want. There have also been some criticisms on throwing things at people, I so far have not had any trouble crushing imperials with boxes, rock, heaters, barrels, chairs, R2 units, Tie fighters, Tie Bombers, etc etc.

One important thing to learn, which will make your day much easier, is the quick recover. A simple tap of A will make you jump up and recover so you don’t get the HAVOCK engine’s typical, “I just jumped out of my car at 100 mph see how long I can flail” syndrome. No where in the tutorials does it give you this information, which is a damn shame because it is such a critical move to the game not sucking. Staying on moves, the force combo list is pretty decent except that there should be more awesome attacks. Because you only have one character and you have about ~25 combos where as a dedicated fighter games have A LOT of combos and a lot more characters, so I just think it’s a shame many more moves were not added.

Although a lot of this might sound like praise there were numerous things that I thought detracted from the game. Firstly the environments, however pretty, were notoriously glitchy. By that I mean there are a lot of clipping issues where you will get stuck on level planes and many items will fall through the level for no reason. The environments were way too slippery; you will slide off low inclined tank treads or easily fall off platforms. Speaking of platforms, some areas of the game that would seem like they would make perfect sense to jump on to acquire an item are too slippery to stand on let alone use for plat forming. It just really annoyed me that everything seems not well tested, I’ll get to this point later.

It is important to mention the new technologies of DMM and Euphoria that Lucas Arts has integrated into the game. DMM is Lucas Arts way of making materials behave with real world characteristics. Instead of the normal breaking of wood or stone at the same pre-defined areas the material will splinter or shatter in accordance with the stresses applied on it. This for me was the games best aspect because I totally geeked out on it. Euphoria is another tech infusion that allows your enemies to emote in accordance with how bad their shit is getting stomped. Euphoria basically makes the baddies react by trying to grab onto things when they are force gripped or shake like Michael J Fox when they are shocked. Really interesting to see these come together.

To wrap up the game-play section the AI in the game was kind of lacking in some situation the enemies would stand around and not do anything. Also some of the larger bosses, like rancors, would just stand in a dumbfounded state and not attack even when they had close to 1.1 gigawatts to razz them up.


Graphics:

As I have said before graphics are now a very important thing to gamers, if it looks like shit, it’s not fun to play. This is one area where Lucas Arts defiantly is a power house, being next door to Industrial Light and Magic TFU shines and glows in all the right places. Cut scenes are perfectly choreographed and are real a treat to watch.

Real geeks of Star Wars will defiantly geek out on a lot of the geometry used in the game. For me the Junkyard level was awesome, I saw the Millennium Falcon, escape pods, and just things that I “knew” what they were and I am sure that was exactly Lucas Arts intent.

Now Daniel thinks its cool when you get graphics slow down, because he is thinking. “Man I am a badass if I am doing this”. Which he can get pretty crazy at times but I am no where near that and I was able to slow the game down hard. Some areas of intense explosions and action really make the 360 come to a crawl and seem like you are watching a slide show. But the times where this happened was very few maybe three times. Thankfully the game show little to no graphical texture pop-in, something that seemed to plague Mass Effect.


Sound:

ILM has done a magnificent job giving TFU the Star Wars sound. Every sound has been recycled from past Star Wars games/movies/episodes so that when you play it you know it is a Star Wars game. They didn’t really introduce too many new items for the game but everything sounded great one thing ILM and Lucas Arts has always excelled at.


Verdict:

This game was supposed to be a truly epic game, and it is a great game. But unfortunately the game does lack a lot in my opinion. For being a multi-platform release I do not think that they play tested the shit out of the game like some other titles. Many little things plagued the game and made me curse and spit and throw controllers.

Having beaten the game through three times now it’s much more enjoyable; although some of the gripes about game play still stay the same. Until you are leveled enough you don’t get the full satisfaction of totally raping your enemies with the force. Thus the game doesn’t feel too fun on the first play through.

80/100

Waiting patiently

OK so I am waiting here not doing my homework like a good college student and waiting for the release of "star Wars: The Force Unleashed".

Today I decided to look at reviews of the game and gamespot and IGN have given it 75% and 73% respectively. I personally played the shit out of the demo and loved it just because of the freedom it allowed me. I was also geeking out about the DMM technology that they incorporated with the game where materials behave like they are suppose to.

I am also excited about the story, its been a while since there has been a good story game. I really like the games like Gears of War or Halo that although have an on rails play style tell a great story. Many of the criticisms where the "polish" of the game, but they say that the story is the "best" of the Star Wars series. I personally look to games like this as a new medium of storytelling not just another bin to throw my time away.

regardless of the poor reviews so far I am still going to be at our midnight launch.

I am almost thinking that this game will be one of those sleeper "assassin creed" type games. That game got terrible reviews out of the gate, but as others took their time and played the game how they wanted to play it the game really kicked some ass.

I just can't wait to throw some storm troopers into walls and smash R2-D2 out an airlock window.

GRID

To start off GRID is not the super customizable Gran Turismo orgasm that most "racers" are use to. GRID is instead the newest installment from Code Masters that focuses on the actual racing and interaction on the course. So instead of having the only Daihatsu Midget with 500 horsepower you are equally matched up to 12 opponents who tough it out for the win.

Story:

First and foremost GRID is a driving arcade game, story is one of those little things that can be tossed away and forgotten about. The only real story is that you actually have rivals and people who are considered "good" and you have to beat them.

Your role is basically a driver for hire that takes what he/she can get. But let’s face it this is a racing game not Mass Effect.

Game play:

The first thing you will notice about GRID is that it doesn't approach you like a normal racing series genre, it presents itself as something different. GRID wants to focus you on your team and how your team will make money. If you are the type that likes to micromanage then you will like the game just for that.

But for someone that has religiously played the GT series, PGR and Forza this game is something fresh. You are never taken out of your garage when managing your teammates or your cars so it actually feels like you are a team manager. Instead of always coming back to the same boring "home" screen you go back to your lovely garage to drool over your ridiculous looking cars.

If you're one that loves the customizable aspect of most racing games you'll be sadly disappointed. The limit to your customization stops with your paint, no wheels, no engines, no fart pipes. This game is about racing not making a more ridiculous car than your competitors.

Most expect racing sims to be spot on representations of the cars that they are piloting, but suffice to say that 95% of people playing these games will never see 90% of these cars let alone drive them; there’s room for interpretation. The game does an amazing job of blending realistic diving physics with an arcade like feel that doesn't make you feel so disconnected with your car or so limited by your skill. The diving gives realistic feedback to the driver, you feel that car A over steers or car B plows a lot, there is a very palpable aspect to driving different cars. Although if you decide to drive with assists on you will drive better, where as in other games they feel like a hindrance.

Since GRID focuses more on better driving rather than eleventy billion horsepower modded out bean rockets the game is much harder than your average sim. One aspect that makes it much harder than any other series out there is the amazing AI that GRID employs. Take for example the GT series, the cars are slow and predictable and not really fun to race around. GRID on the other hand really throws the racing community a curveball, the driving behavior get more aggressive the higher you move up the field. Cars will block push and generally be totally dicks to you so they will get a better position. But the cars can also spin out by being too ballsy or careless, like the real world drivers crash.

GRID also offers many different driving styles to play around with so you can find your niche and really excel at it; personally I rock the drifting championships. Each graphical locale has a different name for the same style of racing, basically. Japanese have pro-tuned, USA has Grand Touring, same thing different cars different tracks. But a very diverse play arena and it gives a nice break so it’s not always come in first by racing around a track. Its go around and either be more stylized, or just more ballsy to nab first and the fat cash.

GRID is also not a racing game that focuses solely on being first in every single event. GRID will reward you no matter what position you come in, all you have to really worry about is pleasing your sponsors. Your sponsors will reward you if you come in first or make a podium finish, it depends on who is your sponsor. Even if you are an O.C.D. perfectionist the game is still fun.

GRID also brings a new feature to racing, its called flashbacks. Flashbacks are a feature that, when you fuck up, you can rewind to a moment where you aren’t all over the road to help you grab a better spot or win the race. It’s a great new feature that really goes for something new rather than just another racing game with production cars.

The cars in GRID are also very spectacular; GRID doesn’t fill the game with bullshit cars like Daihatsu midgets and 1970s Honda Life Step Vans that do absolutely nothing for you. It instead packs your arsenal with really badass cars that any race head would love to drive. Although not a sim with every car ever manufactured it takes a very diverse fill of cars from the world 43 cars in total from top USA muscle machines to top Japanese tuning cars. The models are superbly detailed and really let the driver know it’s a next gen title. Instead of having to beat a certain area with X:XX amount of time to unlock cars, you can just straight up buy them, like in the real world. It also gives you a chance to manage an eBay account to buy and sell cars so your garage isn’t so cluttered or just because you think the TVR is a horrible car.

Also unlike the GT series you can actually mess up your cars which will affect how they drive, in that race and not globally. So if you ram your opponent at 120mph then yes you will get some damage to your bumper, or yes your bumper will fly off if you hit a parked van. Its just another element of GRID that makes it a more cohesive package.

Interface:

Since GRID is not your typical racing game it approaches you in a different way, instead of a bunch of boring menus and aloof home screens it keeps you in your garage with the racing events sectioned out in a “tool box” fashion that looks natural to a car freak. The garage style of interface really feels homey to me and keeps emphasizing to me that, “yes this is a racing game.”

GRID also brings you into a race in a much more theatric fashion and shows you just who you need to fuck up beat in order to win.

The game interaction is just a total different experience for any seasoned racer.

Graphics:

In this day and age graphics are becoming more and more important

to the spoiled ass 1080p nut hugging teens and gaming aficionados. GRID looks beautiful, cars are modeled so well you might as well be looking at it IRL. Lighting and camera blurs and flares and just general environments look amazing and spot on. For someone that has actually raced in a real racecar and on a track the feeling you get from the cockpit view is like déjà-vu for me.

GRID also does an amazing job with the scenery, maybe not the highest priority on a racers mind but it just makes the whole experience that much more visceral. Having more interactive crowds and a variety of ambiance in the game is amazing. When you get on the Nuremberg you will sure as hell know it.

The replays that GRID offers make it feel like a big blockbuster car scene rather “just” another replay of me destroying the field. With dynamic camera angles and epic music the replays in themselves are treats.

One part that stands out in particular is when you get to do a midnight touge battle its pitch black with nothing but your headlights to guide you. You can’t see shit, but it’s not something to complain about it really makes you feel that you are barreling down some mountain road in the dead of night with an opponent hot on your tail. The effects are just plain amazing in the game.

Sound:

For a racing game sound is critical, the cars sound amazing and near to what you would expect. Although a lot of the cars tend to sound similar at higher speeds, my guess is to give the same illusion of going fast as shit regardless of the car.

It’s not just the sound of the engines themselves but it’s everything else in the car you can hear. For instance if I am driving my car over the rumble strips I hear that familiar noise, or when I hop over a bump I can hear my shocks compensate and squeak as normal race coil-overs do. The tire screeches are also very distinctive, not all tires are the same thus not all tires will sound the same. When in a demo-derby event the dry rotted junkyard tires both grip and sound different than your super sticky racing compound tires. When spinning out the noises are different; in the game I find myself listening to the tires to tell me when I will spin out rather than being backed into a ditch wondering what the fuck happened.

For games getting better and better all the components making a harmonious interaction really make a game great.

Online play:

Since this is one of the first games that I have reviewed with a definitive online section it does show where Code Masters spent there time; a hint, it wasn’t here.

Having played thousands of Halo 3 online matches I have been spoiled by a really optimized multiplayer hopper and ranking system. So I obviously felt let down when I played scrubs on the intarwebs. It made me feel like I was playing in an old school TCP/IP LAN game with friends; it wasn’t enjoyable to me and felt lacking. Games are set up by particular hosts and then the participants (up to 12) will vote on what they want to play. There are no default playlists or a particular area that you can play in, it is really up to the host and its party members to decide. Having played for a while it seems most everyone enjoys the drifting aspect in the game. My guess is that it isn’t that hard to do, and you can get pretty good at it. Yet only a few people can get massive scores and make it look easy.

This was one area of the game that I really felt let down in, I really wanted better ranking and more ways to show off and let everyone know why racing is the only genre I am good at. It might also be that there isn’t that large of an online following for the game, yet.

Verdict:

To say this game isn’t good would be a straight out lie on my part, to say this game is the best is also a stretch. But within its genre it is defiantly unique and has some things that really set it apart. Although having a lacking online component really made me bitter, the game is still by far the most enjoyable racing game I have played this year and in recent memory.

89/100

Flame War ON

It has come to my attention that some clown name Mike has joined the crew and has initiated the shit talkin', to which I say BRING IT ON.

But first since I haven't been reviewing many games recently but I have been playing them, here (in no particular order):

The Phoenix Wright Series, a collection of amazingly written storybooks games dealing with a cast of zany characters following about 4-5 cases each game. The strength in these games lie in the accessibility of the DS, where you can play part of a case and come back later never missing a step. Honestly, I have become addicted to playing DS games before I go to sleep because of this series instead of my usual routine of jacking it, watching TV, surfing the intrawebs, or all of the above. The series is hokey sometimes but I love playing detective and if you enjoy Law and Order and anime at the same time, try these games. They are like 10 bucks each at the Gamestop ffs.

Another DS game I recently love is Professor Layton and the Curious Village (I am addicted to saying the full name every time I bring it up). Basically it is like doing those STAT math puzzles as well as some abstract teasers and classic puzzles while playing through another storybook-esque game that has amazingly well done cinematics (think Spirited Away style).

No More Heroes is the exact game you'd expect coming Suda 51. Though not as good as Killer 7, this game has motion controls that actually work for Wii and has a crazy amount of gore. You play Travis Touchdown a wouldbe assassin that has to kill 10 assassins ahead of him to become number 1. You should know by that description that the game shines at the boss battles as each are as unique as Zelda bosses. The combat is neat too using a pseudo-katana kata with low and high stances to hit enemies weaknesses which is not even that important when a slot machine spins each time you kill a mob and you get some new crazy mode. Zero punctuation does an amazing job as you would expect reviewing this game. Pluses for this game are the gore, slick controls, cel-shaded, boss battles. Minuses have to be the bullshit overworld you have to transverse, those lame filler jobs/hits the game makes you do, and the bullshit overworld. Honestly Suda you aren't making GTA, if you cut all that bullshit and just made the game linear I would of been so much happier.



Which brings me to GTA IV. Buy This Game.

Oh you wanted more, well it is just plain awesome. The Havok Engine is incredibly detailed with physics fans creaming themselves over the crazy shit you can do with all the vehicles. I also like the Gears of War adoption of duck and cover style with even some innovations of its own. I've played I think 45 hours now and am only 50% done, to say that is impressive. I'll be honest I didn't like San Andreas or Vice City too much, but this iteration is THE next gen title I have been looking for. With 6 million worldwide sold already, I'm extremely happy for Rockstar's success.


Super Smash Bros Brawl - Awesome fighter, FIX THE ONLINE FOR FUCKS SAKE. Geez, every game is laggy, you have to play 2 minute matches with non-friends, WITH ITEMS ON, bullshit Smash Balls which is god mode in those lag storms, no ranking system. Nintendo please learn have to properly use online kthx. Honestly, if you've played Melee, you've played Brawl. It is less of the slippery controls, more of the "features", and a shitload of characters. All of them pretty balanced surprisingly.




Mario Kart Wii - Nice job with the online, a SERIOUS improvement from the jackass online that SSBB had. With rankings, fast matches, ability to play as your Mii, and roulette style race choices. Nintendo has to be realizing by now that there is a market for the online play. I would gladly pay for an online service like Xbox Live but with a million Wiis sold every month I don't think Nintendo cares too much. I just hope they realize their mistake soon, they can cater to the causal market AND make the hardcore players not migrate to other systems if they just learned from their mistakes. Get a non-friend code system, release headset support for games, and make a HD for download content.


God of War: Chains of Olympus is another amazing game. That and Final Fantasy VII: Crisis Core are the reason to own a PSP. Too bad Barry got pissed at the difficulty and broke his.


The Orange Box, a great value and must rent.




Dragon Quest Swords: The Masked Queen and the Tower of Mirrors for Wii is too long of a name for such a simple little diversion. The game is like No More Heroes in that it has too much random overworld bullshit to maintain to get anywhere in the story. Not all games need an overworld, you can linearity for the sake of not BORING the SHIT out of your players. Also, the game gets crazy hard for no reason on some boss fights (the best part of the game). Really a lot of little annoyances add up fast to why I couldn't finish this game and that's a shame really. As I really liked the Wii controls and the premise.

The localization of the new Fire Emblem games by Nintendo is a great step toward more RPGs on the Wii/DS. If you ever wondered who the hell Roy and Marth are, you'll have to keep wondering as they are still in the Japanese prequels but Ike from the new Smash Bros Brawl is in the Gamecube/Wii games and is a badass. These games play alot like Final Fantasy tactics and have some good stories attached to them. I have really gone back to console gaming like I used to in my childhood. I had a decent relationship with MMOs that ended with WoW last summer. But this is where I belong, and at the most important time when the games market is breaking records with each month, week, year, and AAA title that is released. 2007 was a fucking awesome year for gaming and I expect this year will be just as great. Now if only John (Player 3) can get us a PS3, I can enjoy the next Metal Gear Solid 4 and Little Big Planet when they come out later this year.

So that's it, I don't feel like there is much to say about myself. I think I am the most obsessed with games out of all of us, so there is that. I have a lot to say when it comes to these games, some of which isn't always fair, but I love this medium and am optimistic about the future. Next I will be renting Boom Blox for Wii next so I'll tell you how it is. /endrant

Oh and Mike's gay.

Good point from the clown

So Mike brings up a good point, none of us here have really introduced ourselves. Our readers (I pray their out there) do not really know who the hell we are, or why the hell we are even qualified to do this.

So I will introduce myself.

My name is Barry, yes there are many variations of the name, none of which I will list. I have been into computers since I was a little kid when large 12 inch 2 megabyte hard drives ruled supreme. Green screen was cool but if you have the option to go orange you were strait up ballin'.

I specialize in overkill, I know no less and it shows in everything (crosses fingers) that I do. Take for instance my computer setup. I thought to myself, "I have a 32" flat screen...it needs to be a computer monitor." thus the setup you see below you was born. the computer specs are as follows:

Gigabyte motherboard
Intel Q6600 quad core 2.4 ghz processor
2 gigs of mushkin high performance ram
Radeon Fire GL 3400 workstation card
320 gig SATA hard drive

32" Sharp Aquos HDTV
19" ViewSonic flat panel
and the standard accessories



By trade I am a mechanical engineer with 3 years of college under my belt and a pretty big ego. I like cars and all that crap, but I really love doing things with excel its quite liberating.

Enough about me time for a gaming moment. Just tonight I got an urge to play Bioshock, not because it won Spikes best game of the year award or sold millions of copies or because we got it for free because Hollywood video forgot to charge us. But rather because I was reminded of the unique mood and theme that the game played on and how it was a paradise lost experience. After playing for roughly 10 minutes I got bored because I just wanted to look around and not kill splicers. I also have a hard-on for art deco/art modern styling even though I got bored it is still a damn good game IMO.

Things to look forward to

One game I am really excited about is SPORE, a procedural based asynchronis MMO game designed by Will Wright. If you haven't heard about it click on the god damn link, and take it in because I sure as hell am not going to regurgitate what they have up in an easy to watch flash.

The newest addition

Okay, so apparently the 3 Daniels and 1 David that were the originators of this blog are a failure. This is where I come in. See Barry and I go way back, and hopefully we can make this an interesting read without the 4 D's fail plane. Hey, at least it isn't a fail boat. Short version: Barry and I are holding down the fort.





My first subject of discussion has to do with my personal interests so that avid readers (if any...) of this blog can know where I'm coming from. Since this is for the most part a gaming blog, I'll start off by giving a little gaming background on myself. I own a NES, Sega genesis, N64, Gamecube, Xbox, Xbox360, and the top notch gaming computer right now on the market. I enjoy playing games that actually require skill, and are not just based on how much knowledge of the game/how long you play. FPS is my strong point, but I enjoy strategy and RPG some of the times. Currently I am playing Call of Duty and Halo 3 on my 360, and Crysis and Tabula Rasa on my PC. Tabula Rasa is taking up the majority of my time, and for good reason. The game is pretty sick. I don't have much of an MMO history...the first multiplayer game I played online was Diablo 2. That game was also really sick...until it got overran by little kids (more on this subject later). I have also beat Mass Effect and all the DLC for it. Loved this game, and I stand by the review that Barry gave it. Now imagine Mass Effect made into an MMO. In a nutshell...this is Tabula Rasa. I usually got issues with MMOs, but this one is the exception. My non-gaming life involves working, school, paintball, and being awesome. That's enough about me...I'm gonna move on.




I consider myself to have a good amount of gaming systems. Most of these sit around and collect dust now, ESPECIALLY the Sega, Gamecube, and Xbox. The 360 and my PC are the most played systems right now, because of the current games I am playing.. The point I am trying to get to is that I PLAY MY NES AND N64 DRASTICALLY MORE THAN I PLAY MY GAMECUBE! I haven't touched my Gamecube since the last Metriod Prime game came out, and I'm sure it will stay that way. In fact, if it wasn't such a POS and worth more than a couple pennies, I would sell it in a heartbeat.

This is where I start making people mad. I think Nintendo is going down hill. I don't think the Wii is a terrible system, I just think they could have done a ton better with it. I do think that the feature of NOT having a microphone is perfect...for a certain community of gamers. If you are not about the age of 15, you should only be allowed to play the Wii. No 360 or PS3 for you scrubs! I know I am not the only person who thinks that the kids who have not hit puberty and decide it is there life mission to annoy/disrespect/flame every person who gets in the same game as them. Don't get me wrong, I know there are people of all ages that do this, but I can handle a voice that is not so high frequency that I feel like I am going to bleed from my eardrum. The last thing that makes me want to reproduce and have children to raise into respectable people is hearing a kid that can't be over 10 years old drop an F bomb or call me a nigger on xbox live. I mean seriously. Yes they are just words...but use some fucking discretion.

Discretion is the key word here. People, if you know that you are completely annoying and have no friends...please don't reproduce! Genetics do have a factor in how your kids turn out. Do you really want to have kids that will live the same pathetic life as you...and be just as annoying as you?












Alright, enough of flaming on little kids, I'm going to talk about my current obsession of a game: Tabula Rasa. Like I said before, this game is just plain sick. I don't know why they don't have more Sci-Fi MMOs. Fantasy is cool and all, but how do you decide between all the fantasy games out there? Answer: go sci-fi. I also seem to not have as much of a problem with little obnoxious kids in TR. The game is built so you don't HAVE to grind to get to max level, but the option is there if that is your thing. To me, it is just so much more satisfying to blow something up with a rocket launcher, than to slice at it with an axe. TR has most of the aspects of a fantasy game, it just explains everything in a sci-fi way through the lore of the game. The storyline is somewhat interesting to follow and there are a bunch of different play styles that the game supports. There are some major and minor bugs that still occur, which annoys me greatly, but every game has them. NCsoft and the DEVs of TR are very good about answering your bug problems and petitions. Just the other day I petitioned a mission bug, and no joke, within 5 minutes a GM contacted me. I was pretty much amazed.

Alright, well, that's all I got time for ATM, got to get back to work and make that money. More flaming on certain subjects/pictures, and game reviews will come as I have time. Thank you Barry for adding me to the blog, and thank you to whomever takes the time to read it.

Been a while, still looking for more additional filler

So it Has obviously been a while since we last updated. Last time we said we were working on content, well, we lied. But thankfully we're getting another writer on board who's lolcat experience trumps anyone here.









so to fill the gaps here are some recent games that we have played and liked:

God of War: Chains of Olympus, sweet playability for the PSP.
GTA4, not just a revamped San Andreas but a better game in all.
No more heroes, very retro gamer feel with tons of blood.
EVE online, one of the few cool space MMOs IMO.
Audiosurf, acid trip for your music.
The Orange Box, great for obvious reasons.
SSB Brawl, great rework of the older games with a bunch of fun still built in.

Thats all I can think of off the top of my head.

Working on Content and Additional Crap

Its about that time that I need to vomit some more words onto your screen.

So we are renting games from Gamefly as fast as we can and reviewing the ones we feel like. Such as we just played Mass Effect obviously and tried out Kingdom Under Fire: Circle of Doom. Kingdom Under Fire really didn't hold our attention as much as we hoped as it was great in the blurp that we tried on the XBL demo but as a full game it gets to the point that even the game makes you wonder why you are playing it. The gameplay was fun as well as the customization that all of us love but it is only multiplayer on Xbox Live and there is not enough of a story to keep you in like Mass Effect in. Don't get me wrong now, the graphics were superior and if they can continue on their series I could probably give the game a "more than a rental" review, that is to say that we didn't like this game enough to buy. That is probably why we sent it back for Fire Emblem: Radiant Dawn and kept Mass Effect to rent out the new Advance Wars DS game. Those game will more than likely get reviews from us as they warrant it more than Kingdom Under Fire.

Me and Barry are mostly the review writers here so we will continue giving our junk 2 cents on the industry, new games, and whatever the hell we feel like. Player 3 is really our editor and David isn't more vocal of our crew, he really doesn't care for blogs. His name may be on the wall but I'm three times more important than him, you will mostly see him on Gunbound but he peaks his interest time and again for whatever game we are trying.

I'll post this here. I agree with Barry here enough not to post my own review, so I'll just add whatever I can.

What else can you expect from Bioware. They know console RPGs that Americans can appreciate as much as the asian anime looking staples flooding the genre. Not that I don't love those games too but damn is it nice to have variety.

You may remember Bioware from a little game called Knights of the Old Republic or Star Wars: KOTOR as many people refer to it as. What an awesome game that was and what else can you expect from the makers of KOTOR than a fresh new IP that is amazing in a lot of new ways.

All I can add from Barry is that the engine that they run the game in is fantastic. Not only does it fluidly handle all of the action during combat and exploring but even involves the "cutscenes" or dialogue in a way that doesn't make you ever think it is pre-rendered. I see very minimal FMV (Full Motion Video) in the game and I am happy for it. All the cutscenes look like you could do that instead of elaborate choreographed battle scenes. But that doesn't mean that it doesn't your attention without the over-the-top showings that your local Final Fantasy or [Insert RPG Here] offers.

Read Barry's review for more insight as to why this game is "so effing awesome."


So that's it until the next review for me. Down the pipeline we will probably get a review on Radiant Dawn from Player 3 and a review of Advance Wars: Days of Ruin from me. And plan on doing a belated look at The Orange Box and the new Turok game.

Mass Effect

Mass Effect

Foreword: I have never really made it a point to play RPG’s. It has never really been interesting to me to specialize in anything and have “powers” that you can get and skill up and have “levels”. Mass effect has changed that for me, and I now realize that even though some RPGs can be diluted down to a crappy 3^rd or 1^st person shooter, it is better not to. So just keep in mind that this is the first RPG that I have felt utterly compelled to finish.

Story:

In the year 2148 the human race found an ancient technology on Mars, this technology allowed the humans to travel at FTL speeds (faster than light) and reach beyond the galaxy. This discovery is hailed as the single greatest in all of human history. The technology to hurl objects across the galaxy is called Mass Effect. This leads to human’s first contact with other alien life, Turians, a battle then ensues. Instead of destroying each other, a peace

ful pact is struck between the races. This is where you come in about quarter of a century after the discovery of the ancient ruins you play as a custom created character whose name will inevitably end with Shepard. You are at the command of the Normandy, a joint venture between the Turian and Human alliance. The Normandy is one of the most sophisticated and advance warships out there with stealth technology that renders it “invisible”.

The main story in Mass Effect is just plain good it doesn’t wax on ab

out nonsensical bullshit for filler; it is a genuinely great plot. The story really draws you in and makes you a part of it rather than being some no name that doesn’t get recognition for their efforts. The Ending is truly one to behold not too overdramatic but defiantly will keep you on the edge of your seat. I cannot emphasize the quality of the story, great writing and great story elements. The main story is long, in quantifiable terms its on the order of ten to fifteen hours of actual play, it can get even longer if you are one of those that like to complete side quests. The side quests will keep anyone busy for a while, and extend game play time for a while. It took us roughly 25 hours to finish the story and poke around a few systems and complete random quests.

Game play:

The fun really starts from the get go, you get to make a character. For some this is the best part of the game, just because they can make the goofiest looking twat they can think of, or in our case make the most pissed off looking SOB…ever. The character customization doesn’t give a lot of wiggle room although there is enough space to really customize the look. One thing we noticed after we completed the game was that we had become akin to our little Bobby Sheppard. It felt somewhat alien to play as something that wasn’t Bobby Shepard, but change is good, and fun.

Although when I first started to play the game I treated it much like an FPS, I soon realized that I had way more fun to have. The actual combat and power selection is devised into two different radials that will display your abilities and your available weapons. The menus are very unobtrusive and when selecting either one, time in the game will stop, allowing the user a chance to take a breath and formulate their plan of attack. Even in heated battles the menus do not feel clunky or a nuisance to operate, they become second nature to operate and memorize.

Movement through stages is very fluid and interaction between the NPCs is very well done. Voice acting is top notch and there is a huge amount of scripted dialog.

Combat is a really integral part of the game and it does it very well. Everyone can choose from four different weapons and can decide to train in a certain few, although later in the game you can have inter-class specialization. The powers or abilities will vary between what you wish to place your points in. For example if you place a lot of your points in assault rifle training then you will get appropriate powerups, like overkill. This newly gained ability can be used in conjunction with you assault rifle to provide better accuracy and rate of fire. It doesn’t just have to be weapon upgrades but it can also be powers that defend you and fuck up space pirates. The way these systems are put together is really slick and lends itself to gamers of any genre.

Combat isn’t limited to ground pounding with your squad but it is split up with your vehicle, the Mako. The Mako is a 6 wheel drive vehicle that can pretty much scale anything and will make short work of anything that wants to tango. The armaments on the Mako are pretty substantial which includes a mass accelerator main turret and standard machine gun. The vehicle controls are personally not a favorite of mine but its easy to get use to, now traversing endless planes on a world might seem boring not when you have jet boosters. The jet boosters on the Mako give the vehicle a slight upward boost so if you decide that you would rather turn the canyon walls into a half pipe and try to do a 1080 you can sure as hell try. Most of the fun I had in the vehicle aspect of the game was driving like a jackass, bobbing and weaving to dodge fire then boosting to take pot shots at unsuspecting foes.

My only nit pick is the vehicle controls, the movements are turret centric rather than a vehicle centric movement scheme. What I mean by this is that when the turret is turned 90 degrees away from center and you push forward on the control stick you do not go anywhere. Also when the turret is looking rearward going forward (with respect to the vehicle) you now have to pull back on the control stick. It doesn’t ruin the game although I would have liked some more options to change the control scheme.

Interface:

Mass Effect’s UI is very streamlined, with menu functionality and great intuitive controls. Nothing becomes frustrating, at least not as far as the menus go. There isn’t too much bulk to Mass Effect, it keeps the users input limited to pop up menus and radial selection menus. Nothing feels out of place when running through dialog menus which are very similar to other Bioware games. The game really doesn’t have all that much to distract the user with when they first start up, its pretty much to the point.

Graphics:

Pretty graphics are not everything, but god damn does it help. Mass Effect’s graphics are astonishing it is very obvious that the people at Bioware took their time on detail. Everything in the game looks great and textures are starting to become photorealistic with light effects that are amazing and not overwhelming to look at. This is one game others will look to for guidance as Bioware has really set a new standard. With that said I do have a few gripes about them, on our first play through there seemed to be a lot of texture pop-in; now that were playing through the second, third and fourth times its less noticeable, yet still prevalent. When I say that do not construe it as “huge graphics glitches” or “not next gen look” I am only nit picking because there is so little to do so on with Mass Effect. Now I am sure there is someone that really hated the game for that exact reason, but it is such a small concern in a game that is so absolutely expansive.

Sound:

One area that many gamers don’t often look for in games is the soundtrack, unless it’s a guitar hero game. Some games will try to pass off crappy songs as in game music or try to blow you away you with orchestral scores. Mass Effect does a great job of blending the mission music and instance music as well as its main scores for cut scenes. It is not overbearing or intrusive when you discover a new world or kill your boss it is great background music that does set a great tone for the situation. And even when going to a map or to a menu the sound is not repetitive and annoying it is very pleasing to hear. This can be seen if you own the OST for Mass Effect, most of the songs are less than two minutes long which shows that the attention was directed towards meshing the songs to specific points rather then having a song come in media res just because there was a good riff and sort of sounds good.

Once again there is just one or two nitpicks, when I play a game I am using all my senses, not just my eyes I like to hear and see new things from great games Mass Effect delivers; except that there are a few sounds that I can pick up that sound awfully familiar. I am not saying that the game uses that old Lucas Arts sound clip for a falling shot person. It is more like some of the option menu beeps are very familiar with the ring of a PSP selection menu, or the sound of being shot into FTL travel sounds like old reused stock noise. But once again those are VERY picky gripes nothing that will tarnish the beautifully polished veneer of this amazing game.

Final word:

Buy this game! Even if you are not a RPG fan when you start to play around with this game the game just feels alive.

Now to stay consistent with our ratings I would go ahead and say this is up there with great story and visuals of Assassins Creed and Halo 3, but I will go one further and say it was much better. So mathematically I have a range of 91-100 to work with, and although I had one or two nitpicks I cannot in any healthy state of mind give it something less than 98/100.

Assassin's Creed

I can't think of a more inappropriate game to review right now. As it stands Assassin's Creed is the highest new IP to date beating out Halo: Combat Evolved in 2001. This game is the poster boy of why a great game stands to be released as third party and doesn't have to be first or second party to gain back development costs. “Well of course games don't have to be released as first and second party to stand a chance,” you might say, but that isn't how the last twenty plus years of the gaming industry have run. But I’m not here to talk about the paradigm shift in way developers/publishers think in the 21st Century. The point- as elusive as it may be- is that with the cash that Assassin's Creed has been raking in (980,000 and 377,000 units for 360 and PS3 respectively in November, and 893,700 units in December for 360), the word is clearly out as to why this game belongs in your CD tray.

But you wouldn't think that with the reviews the game has been getting.

With an average rating of 83% at gamerankings.com the Creed sits with others like DiRT, Crackdown, and F.E.A.R.- great games all, but not in the same league as the Creed. 83% isn't even the problem; in going through the many available reviews we find that 20 popular sites/magazines didn't all review AC as 83%. Scores range from GameSpot’s 90% to Electronic Gaming Monthly’s 58.3%. Never before have I seen a more varied list of reviews. It’s clear that there isn’t a consensus of what this game is worth, how fun it is, how it ranks up with other games, etc...

So that’s why I’m talking about Assassin's Creed 2 months after it was released.

GAMEPLAY

In terms of equipment, Assassin's Creed starts like most action games: you may have had all your equipment at the beginning but due to a series of unfortunate clusterfucks you now have to recollect yours weapons and abilities. In that way it compares to Metroid, Zelda, Okami, etc... yet unlike those games you don't even need most of the gadgets that you recover. The game’s true obstacle is the environment, and all you need for that is the analog stick and the right trigger. As you enter these cities you'll quickly find that anything you can lock your eyes on can be climbed or scaled onto. This is where Assassin's Creed shines: the unparalleled freedom of movement within three massive cities. The ridiculousness of escaping guards down an alley with two small boxes to spring off of onto two hanging sticks onto a pole that you swing off of and into a merchant’ booth which you dart through (much to the merchant's distress). All of this can be done with the greatest of ease. Seriously, therein lies most of the game for me: maneuvering through this city that seems to be alive and busy. I think there lies the problem with most reviewers, that this may not be enough for them. It takes a certain attitude to take a moment and marvel on how fluid the animation is of Altair (the protagonist you control) or how the crowd reacts to what the hell you are doing to them or around them... an attitude that isn’t conducive to writing reviews for a living.

A lot of criticism has been leveled at the free GTA nature of these “eliminate the target” missions. Basically when you arrive at a given city, you must at one point arrive at your Assassin's Bureau to progress the story. Rather than pigeonhole you into a game that makes you assassinate on rails, the Creed allows you to discover the best way to take down your target Templar; be it through pickpocketing crucial maps, interrogating respected speakers, easedropping on vital conversations, or doing odd jobs for informers to gain their trust. All the while, each city has scattered throughout it numerous citizens that need saving from guards, viewpoints on top of high buildings that need to be surveyed, and collectible flags that are hidden in any dark alley you can think of. All of which adds to how you progress to what type of assassin you are. Sure, saving a citizen doesn't give you light points that accrue your character like in Fable or KOTOR, but it does help you out in dealing with the massive quantities of guards that these cities produce. In the same way, if a fat asshole brushes past you in a crowd or a retarded leper decides to shove you into a guard, you aren't penalized for f'ing their day up... with your knife.

COMBAT

Much like the demo played at E3, a lot of the combat takes place in the middle of a circle of guards that attack you mostly one at a time. As you start assassinating the targets your lord has charged you to kill, you gain vital pieces of equipment and skills that you will need in order to go apeshit on the guards. There’s the long blade, the hidden blade, your fist, or my personal favorite, the short blade (and with it are throwing knives). The system favors watching your opponents for times to strike, such as when one is limping or calling others to go attack you, you can dash over to them and stab them with your hidden blade. Or as they attack you can with all of your weapons counter their attack with some of the most brutal kills I've ever seen. Combat rewards the patient with killer finishers that aren't over-the-top, but still suitably graphic.

In combat you will find that as you go along it pays to constantly switch weapons as the situation demands. Starting with the long sword allows you to go for some easy kills before switching to the short blade to take out one guard as you turn around to lodge a throwing knife into the throat of a guard you just made distance from. Even the hidden blade is effective, as you are guaranteed a one hit counter kill (as opposed to the occasional counter by sword, in which you just push the guard that offended you). This ain't rocket surgery by any means, but it does have a certain finesse that as you go along you will come to appreciate as new counter/dodge/guard block kills are introduced.

Out of combat you will find that hidden blade is the tool by which you manipulate the world to your liking. Until you are all out wanted by guards you have free rein to be as subtle or as obvious as you want in accomplishing your mission. With ways of blending into the crowd if you just decapitated a guard, jumping in a pile of hay, sitting on a bench with some smelly old people, or mixing with a wandering group of monks, you can be as inventive as you want in getting away from the local toughs. As you go along it is clear that your enemies can't distinguish between you and the men of the cloth that walk the streets, in spite of the stockpile of weapons strapped to your body. The throwing knives are a lot of fun too; drive-by long-range guard murdering became a favorite hobby of mine, next to jacking shit from unsuspecting mercenaries.

GRAPHICS

The graphics in this game are nothing short of amazing. This is truly next gen level with these cities living and breathing, a metric assload of polygons on the screen at one time with the frame rate never dipping. But if the sheer amount of bulk you can see isn't enough to get you hyped, then how about the architecture that you experience first hand as you plant yourself on the side of dozens of beautifully crafted churches and castles. What takes the cake for me, however, is that fluid animation that I alluded to earlier. This game progresses the industry in terms of the most seamless transition of a character in how he interacts with his environment. Not only do you have a sense of full control over Altair, but you’ll swear that he has monkey blood (even if you’re a creationist!) in the way he scrambles up and down alleyways and building sides. Once you progress and gain grab ledge, it all gets even more ridiculous on how this man can dominate his surroundings. Yet none of it seems at all too far-fetched. In the realm of an assassin game that takes place in the crusades, I think it is fair to make your character a badass that seems more like an acrobat than an assassin.

STORY

The Da Vinci Code came out in 2004 beset with glowing reviews, an instant best seller spawning dozens of books concerning the Holy Grail and the Templar legacy. Yet aside from Deus Ex and the occasional RTS dealing with the Crusades, not much has been done video game wise on a very engrossing subject. Enter Assassin's Creed.

You play the role of Altair, a cocky assassin that botches up a mission that lands him in his lord's bad side. After the mission you have to redeem yourself to your lord as well as to the rest of the Assassin Order, as you violated all three tenets of the Assassin Creed (namely thou shalt not fuck up) and are just as arrogant as you were before. Soon you learn that really you are a bartender that has been kidnapped by a large corporation named Abstergo Industries (which was obviously modeled after Microsoft). Apparently, memories of past generations are encoded in DNA and can be retrieved through the use of a machine known as the Animus. This device allows the corporation to hijack people and force them to reveal their ancestor's memories, hence why you are so important to the company. You house Altair's memories- being his descendant- and he knew something that they want. Unfortunately for your captors, memories can't be jumped to the relevant information, but must be played out in a linear fashion. Thus the purpose of the game is for the bartender to play his ancestor's memories to the point that the corporation needs.

Personal characterization aside, everyone has a lot to say on how you go about your assassinations. The voice acting is spot on with believable accents and a lot of modern commentary about the machinations of a few men to control a larger population. A lot of the story is believable, although the leap of faith you have to make for the Animus is considerable.

The ending is one that is on the minds of many a reviewer. Gabe over at Penny-Arcade.com said it best, claiming that unless you show your gamertag along with your review, you have no credible way of commenting on the story's ending. You need to have the Visions of the Future achievement in order to talk about what the ending means, and after completing the game I tend to agree. So here:





THE UGLY

Let's talk about the ugly real quick. This game attempts to do a great deal in what seemed to be a short development cycle after the last Prince of Persia. This game can get glitchy, like some other games that didn't have their game testers test the shit out of them. There’s a plethora of structures you can accidentally fall through, some weird NPC, and the occasional touchy script break. That’s to be expected in my opinion and does not weigh down my review as much as it does a lot of others. It is like the reviewers take it as a personal slight that a game didn't got the extra mile to overtest before going gold. Yeah, it’s sloppy, but it is also the nature of the beast when you need to release your game to rake in the cash from Q4.

Some of the missions are a little lacking, but I am of the opinion that Ubisoft wanted you to explore more than anything, and that is how I played the game. I ventured forth into the wild blue yonder, and had fun doing it. I enjoyed eluding guards and cutting down 25 of them with my short blade before the man hunt was finished.

LASTING IMPRESSIONS

What's not to like in this game? It’s as fun as it is deep. The graphics are amazing for what it tries to accomplish and this gem seriously aims high in that respect. Not to sound trite, but I can't rationalize the lack of higher scores for this game as it doesn't play like any other 70 or 80 games I’ve played. With superior voice acting, decent replayablity, great story, amazing graphics, fluid animations, and a lot of fun to be had I can't in good conscience give this game less than a 91.

Score - 91/100

Gameplay footage